'I was sleeping in a bed covered in boxes'

Zola Hargreaves & Dani Thomas

BBC News

Jayne started collecting items after her husband died but she admits it became a “millstone” around her neck

BBC Jayne smiles into the camera. She is sat in her house surrounded by the items she collects, including ornamental cats and framed pictures. She has glasses, short grey hair and is wearing a light brown cardigan over a green patterned top. — Jayne started collecting items after her husband died but she admits it became a “millstone” around her neck

Jayne’s excessive hoarding after her husband died got so bad that she could only sleep on one half of her bed.

“The other half was three to four foot high of boxes,” said the mum-of-two, who started collecting to fill the gap left behind after her husband took his own life.

Jayne is one of an estimated one in 20 people in the UK thought to have a hoarding disorder, and is trying a new technique to release the “millstone” around her neck.

With hoarding relapse rates very high, instead of the usual method of throwing it all away, Jayne is getting help to reuse and repurpose her stuff so she doesn’t hoard again.

Jayne began hoarding when her husband died and said it was her coping mechanism for her grief

The 75-year-old said hoarding became a small way to find pleasure in life again after being left a widowed single mum with two teenage children.

The items Jayne holds on to, including her large collection of ornamental cats, gave her the enjoyment she said she was missing after her husband’s death almost 30 years ago.

”I think I cried every day for years,” said the retired librarian.

”I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

‘Hoarding was how I dealt with grief’

Jayne said going on shopping trips and buying “nice things” helped her grief.

“I was looking for pleasure in my life,” she recalled.

“I had money and had to keep myself occupied. I overcompensated but that’s the way I dealt with it.”

Jayne said she “never felt happier” when she came home from a shopping trip with “so much stuff in my car that I couldn’t get anything else in it”.

Mum-of-two Jayne started hoarding as she struggled to cope with the grief of losing her husband almost 30 years ago

Family photo A photo of Jayne as a younger woman with her late husband. They are posing together at a viewpoint. Jayne has long curly hair and a blue dress and her husband is wearing a beige short-sleeved shirt. — Mum-of-two Jayne started hoarding as she struggled to cope with the grief of losing her husband almost 30 years ago

But when she found herself sleeping on half of her bed because the other half was piled 4ft [1.2m] high with boxes, she thought to herself things needed to change.

“It was like a millstone around my neck,” said Jayne.

“I was sleeping in half of my bed because the other half was three to four foot high with boxes,” she said.

“This room was about six foot high with stuff, the whole house was like that. You realise this is an addiction.”

Jayne is now being helped by an organisation who find new uses for her hoarded items and stop them going to landfill.

The animal lover has started boxing up her collectables and giving them away – like to a school not far from her in south Wales.

She said being a home owner has saved her from forced clearances but she’s heard many stories about them from the people at the support group she attends every week.

“I’ve got so much stuff I’m attached to, I don’t know how I would’ve coped with someone coming in and throwing all my stuff away,” admitted Jayne, who lives with her eight cats and one dog in Newport.

‘If somebody gets pleasure out of my stuff, I’m happy’

“But if somebody gets some pleasure out of my stuff, I’m quite happy for it to go now.”

Jayne was referred to Holistic Hoarding two years ago to help, and now gives away boxes week after week, something which the charity says 12 months ago would have been “impossible” for her.

“If you value every single item in your home and somebody comes in with no care and just throws it in the bin – how would that make you feel?” said sustainability officer Celeste Lewis.

“If we can show them that other people can find value in their items, they have pride instead of shame.”

Some of the stuff taken from Jayne’s house has been used by children at Hawthorn Primary School in Cardiff

A class full of primary school children — Some of the stuff taken from Jayne’s house has been used by children at Hawthorn Primary School in Cardiff

Hawthorn Primary School in Cardiff is one of the recipients of the objects and their headteacher Gareth Davies said it gave the children “equipment we would never be able to afford within the budget”.

Without supported intervention, experts estimate nearly all people with hoarding behaviours who are forced to clear their homes will relapse.

“We are looking at a 97% relapse rate of enforced clearances without therapeutic intervention,” said Holistic Hoarding founder Kayley Hyman.

Support workers can spend up to two years working with someone and Holistic Hoarding, which covers parts of south-east Wales, get at least two new referrals for help every day.

‘I can see the wood from the trees now’

“This is a very hard-to-reach population,” said Prof Mary O’Connell, a University of South Wales lecturer who researches hoarding.

“I think there is a massive idea that if you can’t cope with a bit of washing up, keep up with keeping your house clean then somehow, you’re failing. It’s a very private disorder.”

Jayne said she appreciated the support she has had and hopes people can be more understanding of hoarding and why people do it.

“You’re just trying to keep yourself as happy as you can in the circumstances,” she said. “I feel more positive because I can see the wood from the trees now.”

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this story you can visit BBC Action Line.

Source link