Runner Molly Seidel Takes Control of her ADHD



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SPEAKER: Molly Seidel is one


of only three American women


to medal in the Olympics in one


of the most brutal of events–


the marathon.


Perhaps what’s even more


remarkable about Molly is


her success in overcoming


a series of mental health


challenges.


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MOLLY SEIDEL: Having lived


with various forms


of neurodiversity and mental


illness


since basically childhood,


I feel right now that I’m


in a place where, obviously,


with this kind of stuff,


you’re never like, quote


unquote, “cured,”


but I feel in a much


better and more stable place


than I’ve been in a really


long time due to taking


a step back over this last year


and really putting


in the work and the time


to focus on it.


And I think that’s probably


the most important part


of dealing with these kinds


of things.


The funny and gnarly thing


about any


of these mental disorders


and what I’ve experienced


is that it almost seems


like a game of whack-a-mole,


that when you whack down one


thing


or when you feel that you’ve got


a handle on one thing,


it jumps to another thing.


So when it’s not–


when it’s not


like obsessive restriction,


it turns into bulimia.


When you get rid of the bulimia,


it turns into restriction again.


Then that turned back


into– it’s– that’s the


frustrating part that if–


and what it took me years


to figure out that if you’re


just trying to treat


the symptoms


and not addressing


the underlying causes of some


of these things, it will just


tend to jump from diagnosis,


to diagnosis, to diagnosis.


And I got the–


my two main diagnoses just are


the ADHD and the OCD.


Obviously, it was years apart


for the two of those


and it took longer to identify


the ADHD.


But it came with such a sense


of relief and knowing of just


like, oh, my God there’s


a reason why I feel the way


that I feel and maybe I’m not


just thoroughly messed up


and thoroughly a terrible person


because your brain just works


a little bit differently.


And I think a lot of that came


with a deep sense of shame


for me.


And that was the hardest part


of just being I don’t know why


my brain just can’t work the way


that other people’s brains work.


And especially– I think


especially with the ADHD–


the OCD was one because that was


more of a pathology, kind


of just being like, OK, this is


something that I really need


to work on and improve,


this is a disorder.


Whereas with the ADHD


it came with this sense of just


like, oh, my God,


this makes so much sense.


I think that was the most


freeing thing and the thing that


has gotten me to the place


that I am now of being like,


OK, there are specific lifestyle


changes that I can make to make


sure that my brain works


optimally and then they worked.


I wish that I had been more


vocal about exactly how I was


feeling earlier and it might


have gotten to the solution


a lot earlier.


Because I think– especially


as women, a lot of us


are willing to almost like


gaslight ourselves of just being


like, oh, it’s not really that


bad.


And then you look objectively


at it and you’re like,


no, this is actually objectively


pretty bad and there has to be


a better way to live than this.


I’m a pretty big nerd when it


comes to this stuff,


so I enjoy learning about it


and I really enjoy trying–


reading medical papers,


trying to figure out stuff,


doing my own research,


especially


as it comes to some


of these alternative techniques


for treating ADHD.


So having a basic level


of competence with that I think


has really helped.


But then I think just


at this point,


having been through pretty much


the better part of–


being through 10 years


of working


with different therapists


pretty consistently,


learning the dialogue,


learning the–


basically just getting a better


understanding of how my brain


works.


And I think that ultimately is


the point of therapy is learning


to have a better relationship


with your own brain


and understanding the mechanisms


by which your brain works.


I think that’s been the most


helpful thing to be able to be


a little bit more confident


and trust in myself to know


the things that I need to be


doing.


And maybe some aspect of it is


being able to take ownership


of not just expecting that I’m


going to go to a doctor


and they’re going to give me


a pill and that’s going to fix


everything.


[MUSIC PLAYING]




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2023-04-27 04:26:10

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